1 00:01:00,430 --> 00:01:01,430 Hi. 2 00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:05,830 I'd like a room that's painted a dark color, doesn't get a lot of sun, has no 3 00:01:05,830 --> 00:01:09,150 trees rustling outside the window, and no drafts. 4 00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:13,350 Well, I'm afraid we only have one room left. 5 00:01:13,870 --> 00:01:14,870 Okay, I'll take it. 6 00:01:16,630 --> 00:01:20,810 I don't mean to sound picky, but I've got insomnia. 7 00:01:21,250 --> 00:01:23,810 I thought maybe if I went someplace quiet and restful. 8 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,250 That's the Stratford. 9 00:01:25,470 --> 00:01:26,470 How'd you hear about it? 10 00:01:26,650 --> 00:01:27,650 Word of mouth. 11 00:01:27,970 --> 00:01:28,949 Oh, really? 12 00:01:28,950 --> 00:01:29,950 What'd they say? 13 00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,630 My friend said, go to Vermont, stay anyplace. 14 00:01:35,870 --> 00:01:40,630 Yeah, that's our motto, the Stratford Inn, one of many in the area. 15 00:01:42,610 --> 00:01:44,210 Enjoy your stay, Mr. Thurman. 16 00:01:44,470 --> 00:01:46,690 Gee, there must be something you can do to get to sleep. 17 00:01:46,970 --> 00:01:50,410 Believe me, I've tried every cure, every doctor, every suggestion. 18 00:01:50,690 --> 00:01:51,429 Nothing works. 19 00:01:51,430 --> 00:01:52,530 Have you ever tried warm milk? 20 00:01:52,730 --> 00:01:55,050 Yeah, I tried it. What about a nice hot bath? 21 00:01:55,310 --> 00:01:56,309 Tried it. 22 00:01:56,310 --> 00:01:58,910 Phil Donahue showed a machine. Tried it. 23 00:01:59,780 --> 00:02:02,620 I'll tell you what. While you're here, I'm going to see what I can do about 24 00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:05,740 insomnia. And in the meantime, don't lose any sleep over it. 25 00:02:06,380 --> 00:02:07,259 That joke? 26 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:08,340 Yeah. Heard it. 27 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:14,320 Hi. 28 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:18,439 I'm Larry. 29 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,100 This is my brother Darryl. This is my other brother Darryl. 30 00:02:24,420 --> 00:02:25,420 How's it going, guys? 31 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:27,500 We ain't exactly sore from grinning. 32 00:02:30,380 --> 00:02:35,880 It's become apparent that our cafe is not the hotbed of activity we expected. 33 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:37,480 What do you mean? 34 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:41,040 So far, we've never been outnumbered by our customers. 35 00:02:43,780 --> 00:02:46,920 Daryl, don't be doing that I told you so attitude. 36 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:54,760 From the beginning, he thought we should forget this restaurant business and hit 37 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:55,760 the pro bowling circuit. 38 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:59,420 He's been rubbing our noses in it ever since. 39 00:03:00,650 --> 00:03:03,170 Larry, why are you sharing this with us? 40 00:03:04,630 --> 00:03:09,650 Well, we can't help noticing that while our cafe's biting a big one, your end 41 00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:10,890 seems to be flourishing. 42 00:03:12,270 --> 00:03:13,270 Go figure. 43 00:03:16,950 --> 00:03:21,370 We thought maybe you could take a look at our operation and tell us why we're 44 00:03:21,370 --> 00:03:22,830 skidding off the road to success. 45 00:03:23,630 --> 00:03:25,410 Well, sure, Larry. We'd be happy. 46 00:03:26,190 --> 00:03:29,690 we're innkeepers, not restauranteurs. You know, that'd be like comparing 47 00:03:29,690 --> 00:03:33,690 with something else entirely. 48 00:03:36,410 --> 00:03:39,050 Larry, we'd be glad to take a look and see what we can do. 49 00:03:39,270 --> 00:03:40,270 Much obliged. 50 00:03:41,290 --> 00:03:43,670 See? I told you she was the nice one. 51 00:03:49,470 --> 00:03:52,850 Why did you resist helping them? It sounded like you want their restaurant 52 00:03:52,850 --> 00:03:54,790 fail. I don't want them to fail. 53 00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:57,840 I also don't want to see a chain of those things. 54 00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:03,320 Honey, I know what's going to happen. You're not going to be honest with them. 55 00:04:03,340 --> 00:04:06,200 You're going to be polite, and they'll start taking advantage of you, just like 56 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:10,980 the time with that lonely old Mrs. Lowenstein. She asked for a simple 57 00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:14,860 peach pie. Then before you knew it, she was over at our house all the time. Then 58 00:04:14,860 --> 00:04:16,000 you gave her her own key. 59 00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:17,779 Don't. And she robbed us. 60 00:04:21,899 --> 00:04:23,960 Well, that's not going to happen this time. 61 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,340 Honestly, what I think is wrong with their cafe. 62 00:04:27,860 --> 00:04:28,860 End of involvement. 63 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,600 Well, I'll believe that when you stop going to Mrs. 64 00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:33,100 Lowenstein's parole hearings. 65 00:04:38,180 --> 00:04:41,720 As you can see, it's just as we depicted, relatively lifeless. 66 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:46,400 Well, you know, guys, you can't expect the place to be crowded all the time, 67 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,360 especially at lunch hour. 68 00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:53,700 A customer. 69 00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:55,510 Looks like you've rung Lady Luck with you. 70 00:04:56,710 --> 00:04:57,710 Hi. 71 00:05:01,670 --> 00:05:04,090 Um, should I, uh, seat myself? 72 00:05:04,530 --> 00:05:05,530 Park it where you please. 73 00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:14,770 Watch closely. It's somewhere after this point that we generally lose them. 74 00:05:18,290 --> 00:05:21,330 Uh, could I see a menu, please? No need for that. 75 00:05:21,590 --> 00:05:23,960 You know... if it's as good as halfway down your throat. 76 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:34,260 Uh, pancakes and coffee would be nice. A stack and a joe. 77 00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:40,039 I'm sorry. 78 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,600 This is a no -smoking section. 79 00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:46,720 I can move you, but you'd have to reorder. 80 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:07,700 like your stack, sir. 81 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:37,560 I'm late now, too. 82 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:42,640 Why don't I just leave this here and I'll just go out there. 83 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,540 So, spot any flaws? 84 00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:58,540 Well, Larry, it's very easy to stand on the sidelines and criticize. 85 00:07:00,740 --> 00:07:02,380 Larry, it was revolting. 86 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,240 Joanna? 87 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,740 Carrying sugar in your hand is revolting, and carrying dishes inside 88 00:07:10,740 --> 00:07:12,660 clothing is just nauseating. 89 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:17,120 Well, we always figured a little fine -tuning was in order. 90 00:07:18,140 --> 00:07:19,560 Larry, may I be frank? 91 00:07:20,060 --> 00:07:22,680 Unless you do something drastic, it's hopeless. 92 00:07:25,620 --> 00:07:27,160 I really should go now. 93 00:07:33,110 --> 00:07:36,430 Well, that's the last time I let her have 18 cups of coffee. 94 00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:44,410 Oh, 95 00:07:44,850 --> 00:07:51,210 George? Are there any pencils around here? I want to edit this chart. Here. 96 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:04,640 Last night I gave Mr. Thurman a special tea to help him sleep, and he didn't 97 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:07,880 come down to breakfast, so I don't want to wake him up, okay? 98 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,120 Okay. 99 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,659 No. Actually, that sleeping potion of yours gave me quite a little buzz. 100 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,260 Darn. Well, we won't give up. 101 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,260 We'll try everything short of hitting you over the head with a mallet. 102 00:08:49,460 --> 00:08:50,460 Tried it. 103 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:58,760 Dick, are you sure I wasn't too hard on Larry and his brothers yesterday? 104 00:08:59,460 --> 00:09:03,400 Honey, you were fine. They're just not cut out for that line of work. I have to 105 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,400 go along with Daryl. 106 00:09:09,130 --> 00:09:10,130 We know. We know that. 107 00:09:11,830 --> 00:09:15,850 Miss Joanna, we just want to thank you for being so savagely honest in your 108 00:09:15,850 --> 00:09:16,850 review of our cafe. 109 00:09:17,510 --> 00:09:21,630 Really? Yes, ma 'am. Now that we know what the problem is, we can spring into 110 00:09:21,630 --> 00:09:23,150 action. Oh, that's the spirit. 111 00:09:23,610 --> 00:09:24,930 Yep. We quit. 112 00:09:27,050 --> 00:09:28,050 Oh, no. 113 00:09:28,190 --> 00:09:29,330 Oh, don't fret about us. 114 00:09:29,630 --> 00:09:33,430 We'll just go back to our cabin and live out the rest of our days in abject 115 00:09:33,430 --> 00:09:34,430 shame. 116 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,320 Thank you for kicking us in our collective gut. 117 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,220 Well, remember us fondly. I was Larry. 118 00:09:44,660 --> 00:09:46,140 This was my brother, Daryl. 119 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,400 This was my other brother, Daryl. 120 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,020 Wait. What? 121 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,240 Nothing. I'll help you. 122 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,600 I don't know. In our view, the dream is croaked. 123 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:03,680 Just give me a week. One little week to turn the place around. 124 00:10:03,940 --> 00:10:05,780 Then we'll have a grand reopening. 125 00:10:06,510 --> 00:10:07,510 What do you think? 126 00:10:07,790 --> 00:10:08,790 I'm for it. 127 00:10:09,290 --> 00:10:10,290 Daryl? 128 00:10:10,750 --> 00:10:11,750 Daryl? 129 00:10:12,390 --> 00:10:13,630 Two to one, we'll do it. 130 00:10:15,650 --> 00:10:16,650 Great. 131 00:10:16,930 --> 00:10:17,930 Oh, boy. 132 00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,150 First impressions are important. 133 00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:27,610 So when a customer enters, we don't say, park it. 134 00:10:28,010 --> 00:10:30,670 We say, may I show you to your seat? 135 00:10:31,910 --> 00:10:33,810 May I show you to your seat? 136 00:10:34,770 --> 00:10:35,770 Well, okay. 137 00:10:36,060 --> 00:10:38,220 But we may be in danger of looking a little fae. 138 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,440 Another thing. 139 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,600 Serving the food. 140 00:10:44,140 --> 00:10:47,980 As a general rule, most customers don't like to see their food airborne. 141 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:49,780 That's the fun part. 142 00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:53,340 Fun or not, the proper way is to use this. 143 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:54,760 Flask water? 144 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,200 Let me make a note. 145 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:04,560 Tomorrow we'll spend the entire day talking about germs. 146 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,080 All right. 147 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:11,640 Now let's see what we've learned so far. 148 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:13,320 Uh -oh, pop quiz. 149 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,760 Okay, I'm a customer and I want to have lunch. 150 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:18,960 What do you say? 151 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:20,700 Park it anywhere. 152 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,640 Oh, you had something furthest. 153 00:11:24,980 --> 00:11:25,980 How'd that go again? 154 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:33,480 May I offer you some water? 155 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,420 There's a hair in my glass. 156 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:03,260 Oh, dear. 157 00:12:08,740 --> 00:12:10,360 There you go. Hair free. 158 00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:17,060 Revolting again? 159 00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:18,560 Yes, Larry. 160 00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:22,640 Once a hair or any other foreign substance has gotten into the food, it 161 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:23,640 not be served. 162 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:47,240 and do it all over again. 163 00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:48,620 Without food. 164 00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:51,500 Fine. Larry? 165 00:12:55,740 --> 00:12:56,860 Good evening, sir. 166 00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,620 Would you like to plunk it down over here? 167 00:13:15,690 --> 00:13:16,970 Let's take it from the top. 168 00:13:17,970 --> 00:13:20,690 A customer just walked in. We're closed. 169 00:13:23,090 --> 00:13:24,090 Larry? 170 00:13:28,970 --> 00:13:29,970 Good evening. 171 00:13:30,150 --> 00:13:32,410 May I show you to your parking spot? 172 00:13:33,550 --> 00:13:34,850 Oh, darn it! 173 00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:36,950 This is hopeless. 174 00:13:38,130 --> 00:13:40,030 Okay, let's just get some sleep. 175 00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:43,350 We gotta be rested for the big disaster. 176 00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:49,320 We're sorry, Miss Joanna. I just can't seem to remember. May I show you to your 177 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:50,320 seats? 178 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:55,680 What did you say? 179 00:13:56,340 --> 00:13:58,980 May I show you to your seats? 180 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:00,320 Again. 181 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,500 May I show you to your seats? 182 00:14:04,420 --> 00:14:06,980 May I show you to your seats? 183 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,380 May I show you to your seats? 184 00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:11,720 May I show you to your seats? 185 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:25,720 She just left for the opening. 186 00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:27,100 Oh. 187 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,940 You wouldn't happen to know where my green tie is, would you? 188 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,920 You don't have it on, do you? 189 00:14:34,780 --> 00:14:35,780 Thanks, George. 190 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:43,140 Oh, Mr. Thurman. I thought of a couple more things you could try. 191 00:14:43,580 --> 00:14:44,960 Thanks, George, but no thanks. 192 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:46,800 I got a long night ahead of me. 193 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:50,660 I think I'm going to just curl up with a good book and memorize it. 194 00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:53,300 Oh, George. 195 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,160 Is this... Is this tie straight? 196 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:01,220 What am I talking about? I'm only going to Larry, Daryl, and Daryl's. 197 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,620 Well, I hope the opening goes well. 198 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:09,160 Yeah, I hope so, too. I can't help wondering if this isn't something they 199 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:10,380 have tried on monkeys first. 200 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:18,660 Is Mr. 201 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:19,920 Thurman asleep? 202 00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:24,310 What finally did it? 203 00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:25,970 He was reading a book. 204 00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:31,590 Anything can be a lamp face. 205 00:15:32,830 --> 00:15:33,950 By Dick Love. 206 00:15:36,130 --> 00:15:38,730 Well, he probably just finished a big meal. 207 00:15:39,550 --> 00:15:43,930 Yeah, and he's... He's sitting in front of a warm fire. 208 00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:48,250 I'll bet that tea I gave him finally kicked in. Right. 209 00:15:49,910 --> 00:15:51,050 Let's go with that one. 210 00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:06,100 What do you think? 211 00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:07,240 Oh, nice job. 212 00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:08,820 Oh, 213 00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:10,500 I like that. 214 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:15,780 It's just, uh... Just like the picture in our, uh... 215 00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:20,760 Wait a minute. 216 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,820 Honey, it's just for tonight. 217 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:27,180 Good, because it's being here. It kind of defeats the purpose of a hidden wall 218 00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:28,180 safe. 219 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:37,620 You like it? 220 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:38,720 No. 221 00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:42,140 Something's wrong. 222 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:49,300 There. 223 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,380 Thank God I was here for you. 224 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,520 Fashion plate. 225 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:12,380 Miss Stephanie, may I say, as dutied up as we are, we're refried toads compared 226 00:17:12,380 --> 00:17:13,380 to you. 227 00:17:14,980 --> 00:17:16,900 Oh, Larry, of course you may. 228 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,520 Larry, you guys better get the food started. It's almost time. 229 00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:22,900 Hi -ho, hi -ho. 230 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,700 Whoa, share the fantasy. 231 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:34,680 Michael, what's your favorite thing in the room besides me? 232 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,660 I'll give you a hint. It's big, it's green, it's leafy. 233 00:17:42,140 --> 00:17:42,919 The tree. 234 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:43,920 You noticed? 235 00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:45,840 How could I miss it? It makes the room. 236 00:17:46,220 --> 00:17:47,220 I know. 237 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:48,520 Joanna had it over there. 238 00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:53,140 You're kidding. 239 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,240 What gives, Joanna? 240 00:17:57,540 --> 00:17:58,760 All right, this is it. 241 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,200 Larry? 242 00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:02,400 Oh, Chick, I'm so nervous. Hold my hand. 243 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,160 I am holding your hand. 244 00:18:12,620 --> 00:18:14,340 Juana, look at this place. 245 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:18,940 You're a miracle worker. Oh, thank you, and welcome to the all -new Minuteman 246 00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:19,940 Cafe. 247 00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:22,260 Larry, here goes. 248 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:23,760 Good evening. 249 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,500 May I show you to your seats? 250 00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:33,240 Honey, could I hold that hand again? 251 00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:44,050 My brothers and me cleaned out your septic tank. 252 00:18:46,590 --> 00:18:47,930 Well, enjoy your meal. 253 00:18:49,970 --> 00:18:50,970 Excuse me. 254 00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:52,850 This fork seems to be dirty. 255 00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,090 Oh, dear. 256 00:18:56,930 --> 00:18:58,430 I know. I'll get you another one. 257 00:18:59,590 --> 00:19:00,790 Did you see that? 258 00:19:01,310 --> 00:19:02,410 Another fork. 259 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,910 Yeah, it's one of those Kodak moments. 260 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:19,440 Dry toast. 261 00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:21,600 Clean dry toast. 262 00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:32,980 Excuse me, but I haven't ordered yet. I'll be there. Pony Express. 263 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,940 Waiter, could we have some water, please? 264 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,340 May I show you to your seats? 265 00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:41,940 Excuse me, are our burgers ready yet? 266 00:19:52,460 --> 00:19:53,460 it anywhere. 267 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,320 Maybe we can't run the restaurant your way. 268 00:20:42,580 --> 00:20:43,580 Carol? 269 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:44,960 What are you doing? 270 00:20:45,580 --> 00:20:46,980 We're sorry, Miss Joanna. 271 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,700 But we gotta be weak. 272 00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:53,460 Guys! 273 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,280 Guys, wait! You're destroying all my work! 274 00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:58,820 Folks! Folks, it's just a temporary disturbance. 275 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,300 Please, return to your seats and continue eating. 276 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,320 Joanna, one word. 277 00:21:09,380 --> 00:21:10,380 Arson. 278 00:21:17,330 --> 00:21:19,150 Now we're clashing like mad. 279 00:21:20,110 --> 00:21:22,410 Yeah, you shouldn't change ambiance in midstream. 280 00:21:25,810 --> 00:21:26,810 Well, 281 00:21:28,710 --> 00:21:32,750 you want me to hold your hand or not or what? 282 00:21:34,850 --> 00:21:38,770 I guess I shouldn't have tried to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. 283 00:21:50,830 --> 00:21:51,990 But are you off your bird? 284 00:21:53,550 --> 00:21:57,390 We may have lost them fair -weather chowhounds, but look at all these 285 00:22:00,170 --> 00:22:01,170 There are four. 286 00:22:01,850 --> 00:22:03,910 First time we've ever been outnumbered. 287 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:05,990 You're happy? 288 00:22:06,390 --> 00:22:07,390 Ecstatic. 289 00:22:07,870 --> 00:22:08,990 Even Daryl's done it. 290 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:26,480 I taught them. 291 00:23:26,410 --> 00:23:27,410 Meow.